Power Ideaz

 “A few years ago Rick and I realized that something needed to be done to increase the love and harmony in our home! We were tired of listening to constant complaining whining, arguing, and yelling amongst our children. We were sick of having to ask our children five times to do something and we were tired of nagging , cajoling , bribing , yelling and giving time-outs”.!

These were the exact words of my friends a few years back. I understood his pain and frustration and tried to give him same important advices. What follows below are a few essential tips of ideal parenting .

(1) Wishes of a Child should Always be granted  
Every week , it should be made sure, that a minimum of ten hours should be taken out by the parents – to do exactly what your child desires, without interruptions or distractions – even if , he/she wants to play a game with you which you hate or build block towers and then knock them all down.

(2) “I love you .”- should be the way to start and end each day
Generally, we parents, have the notion that we show our love for our children through our actions, but kids want and need to be told that they are loved.

(3) Safety measures should be thought beforehand
When a child gradually grows, we, as parents should anticipate what are his/ her next steps would be and act accordingly. If your nine-month old is about to stand then it’s time to put up the gate cover, smoothen the sharp corners of the tables and keep pot handles turned away from the edge of the gas-burner.

(4) Don’t punish
Every child has a cup that needs to be filled- and refilled with love, affection, attention and respect. A rough day, a big frustration, at times, induces us to use harsh words that empties the cup. If your child is acting up, give him a hug, listen to him and spend time together. He will be more cooperative and you’ll both feel closer to him/her.

(5) Look the other way
Once in a week, you should ignore your child’s transgressions like table manners, forgetting to clean up, right away – and remind yourself you are not perfect either.

(6) You should be your baby’s favorite toy
Apart from offering playthings to your child always, amuse him yourself. After all, you make sounds, you move, you can take turns with him and respond to what he does, and you’re warm, soft and safe with him/her.

(7) Photo albums should be made and preserved
As a parent you should take at least two hours a month to create lasting, organized family memories. While you gather the photos or souvenirs, you will have the opportunity to reflect on the precious moments of your life.

(8) Coin a nick-name
We as a parent, should call our child b a special moniker that will reflect the unique connection to him/her. You should always remember that a child with many names is a child loved many times.

(9) Making sacred of family rituals is necessary
At least, once a week, you should do an activity together, such as taking a stroll along with your family, reading a book aloud, driving to the woods or having Sunday breakfast at the same restaurant or coffee shop. These memories will be treasured the most by your kids.

(10) Amendments should be made on the parents part also
“I am sorry. I messed up.” This is the most important thing, that you, as a parent should tell your child. Admitting you’re wrong, also gives your child some kind of trust, lovingness and his/her right to make mistakes sometimes.

(11) Don’t be over –protective
Shielding your child from all disappointments, failures or stressful situation should not be the order of the day. You should make your kids learn how to handle difficult situations in order to cope with life’s challenges.

(12) Love should be unconditional
You should love your child just because he /she was born to you and not because he plays the piano or aces math tests. Tell him often that you would love him no matter what grades he got and that your love for him grows bigger with each passing day.

Parenting is all about patience, observation, common sense and above all, love.

Plus for added fun it’s a guessing game as well! It doesn’t matter how much planning

You’ve done how you’ve decided that your baby’s first year should go. The fact is, your baby is the one who is going to decide many things because he/she is an our individual with his /her own likes, dislike and personality.

 By Soumitra Chakraborty

There is nothing as exciting, fulfilling and joyous as becoming a parent is for the first time. First time parenthood however, can also be fraught with tremendous stress brought about by anticipation, preparation & caring for a little creature who cannot tell you what he/she needs or wants. For people who have actively sought parenthood however, it is probably this additional aspect of stress & tension that makes parenthood such a wonderfully strengthening & humbling experience.

‘It is much easier to become a father than to be one’-Kent Nerburn

Parenting involves both the mother & father. Here are some essential tips for an ideal father, as fatherhood occupies a great deal in making the child’s future.

1) Physical touch
It is absolutely vital for a father to develop a close attachment with his child by bathing, feeding him and hugging him, if the situation permits him to do so. This non-spoken, physical contact can strengthen a father-child bonding.

2) Be a good listener
A father should patiently listen to whatever a child wants to tell him. A father should allow his child to tell him everything about his/her daily activities, and also bear, to a great extent to the pranks he/she plays throughout the day.

3) Tolerance
Tolerance of a father is much necessary and added to this; his thoughtful company will give the child a profound feeling of protection and security. A father should discipline his child in a proper manner with ethical values but should not take recourse to needless resentment or hostility, as this might instill a sense of fear in the child and in the long run the child might turn disrespectful towards him.

4) No fights in front of your child 
To preserve a feeling of stability a father should never indulge in physical abuse to the mother in front of the child. Differences amongst the parents can be settled in private.

5) A father should be an ideal to his child
As a father, one should try to be an individual whom the child admires. A father should always be friendly in his attitude towards his child. An ideal father should not be disapproving; but someone, whose decision he can have faith in, someone who is not commanding but on whose ability a child depends on.

Nothing can substitute the influence of a father over his child. Studies indicate that children profit from a beneficial rapport with a father. It’s a common belief that fathers are simply replacement for mothers, but actually, what they give towards the development of their children is exceptional. Studies have revealed that, generally, fathers have a unique way of playing with their children, looking after as well as communicating with them. In short, children need an involved father, and not the kind of a distant father who is only a provider.

 By Soumitra Chakraborty

History says that men have carried out their roles well enough to increase and maintain the number of members in their groups or clans. Hence they have been bigamous or polygamous according to the needs of the society. Their children learnt to live like adults by copying the actions of adults. Their personalities shaped up accordingly.

In the 21st century, the society has become much more complex and everyone plays multifarious roles with perfection. Here comes the need of perfect parenting. It’s the gardener who tends the buds in his garden to see them bloom into beautiful flowers with the perfect color, shape, size and fragrance. Fathers are such gardeners who tend their kids to grow up to be successful human beings. Fathers have a special role in the children’s lives. It is their active participation in the rearing of their children that helps to steer their kids to a better adjusted and successful life in the future. Here are some tips that every dad must know and practice to become a successful father.

1. Spend time with your children every day
Spend time with your children each and every day. Even when you are out of town on a business trip you need to pick up the phone and talk to them. When you talk to your children try not to ask them questions that are answered with “yes” and “no”. Instead, try asking them questions that require detailed answers. Whether it’s in the morning, before you head to work, or in the evening after your workday is over you must spend time with them. Doing something that they want to do is a great way of letting them know you care about what’s important to them. Reading them a book, or playing a board game together is good to start with.

2. Continue to remain attached
Your child is unique. If you have more than one child you understand how different each one of them is from the other. As they grow older they begin to develop different interest in the world around them. As a father we sometimes get so distracted by our own world that we overlook the detailed world of our children. Avoid this. If you start to move away from your child, being unaware of the small details of his/her world that is the beginning of a gap.

3. Communicate with care
Sometimes we fathers get too caught up in our own busy lives. We don’t pay enough attention to our kids when we talk to them. When you engage your children in a conversation try looking directly at your children when they respond back to you. Let them know that what they have to say is important. You can gain your children’s trust by listening to their problem and your guidance will be welcome to them. Be honest with your children; admit your mistakes and teach your children the importance of taking responsibility and making amends. When they see you acting on your own advice they will adhere to your wishes.

4. Tell your kids your story
A young child often feels the world began at his/her birth. Tell your story and that of your parents and your own family as it can be interesting to your child. By reflecting on your past, you provide your child with the intriguing sense of history and of past generations .You need not tell all the details of your history, but only those which leave your child with the feeling that you too were once a child and you grew up and became an involved father. All of your life experiences are only useful if your kids know that you are being open and honest with them. Make your life an open book.

5. Educate your kids through involvement
You are your child’s role model. Your kids are looking to you to learn how a responsible and mature adult acts. Do chores around the house with your children, make them feel good about helping you and teach them that men also share household duties. Encourage your children to think for themselves. Guide and help them with their decision making process and then stand back and watch them do it themselves. Do all of this while they are young and you can still make an impression on their minds. Don’t wait until they get older. Each day is a new opportunity to teach your child. Don’t let time rob you of the moment and don’t let someone else steal that privilege from you.

6. Give priority to parenting and use your time wisely
As a father your priority must go towards your child, before your job, other relations, or enjoyment. I know this is a bit tough to follow in a world with so many competing demands and attractions. To be a great father you must consciously plan and devote time to being with your children making it your top priority. Plan how you can weave your children into your social life and knit yourself into their lives. Instead of leaving them at home take them with you to the supermarket. Observe how they interact with you in different settings. Most fathers rarely experience the full potential range of emotions with their children because they seldom see them anywhere but at home or at an athletic event.

7. Reduce anger by understanding your own trigger points
Anger is very real and very normal. As a father if you are able to identify the cause of your anger triggered of by your children you will be able to extinguish the flames before you ignite. I know for example that one of my trigger points is when I feel out of control.
There are a number of things that I could do to prevent the chaos but none of them really solve the problem. The real problem is my expectation of the situation. I feel out of control and frustrated. Frustration turns to anger and anger to hurt feelings.
However, you can find ways to express your anger that doesn’t hurt, belittle, or insult your children. Anger in its destructive form can make a child’s misbehavior worse. If you control your reaction to something your child does, the behavior will stop sooner, won’t last as long, or be as severe. Children need to understand why you are upset.

8. New fathers should take time off for your new baby
If you are a first time or new father you should plan on taking time off from work before your new baby arrives. Your baby will only be a newborn for a month. Nearly anything can be put on hold for a couple of weeks. If the blessed event has already occurred and you haven’t already done so plan to take a week off from work to spend with your newborn child.

The best advice for new dads is to get your hands on your baby as soon as, and as often as, possible. Through the process of directly caring for your infant you will learn what your baby needs, how he or she communicates, and what comforting techniques work best. Do not leave this responsibility to the child’s mother. You are a dad now. Try to spend time alone with your baby. Create opportunities where you are the sole care giver. Invite your wife to spend time doing something with her friends or simply offer her some time alone. This will allow you and baby to get to know each other. It will also help you learn the “language” your baby uses to communicate his or her basic needs.

The bond you are developing with your child through your interactions, touch, and care giving is the foundation upon which your father-child relationship will be built. The time you spend with your baby now, will make you a more effective parent in the future.

9. Show respect for the mother
If you are living with your wife definitely show love and respect to your wife in front of your child. This is very important for the healthy development of the child.

10. Learn to hug, kiss and touch your children
As a father if you want to communicate love and acceptance to your kids so that they will know they are loved then you’ve got to be willing to pull them close and hug them. If you were never touched (in an appropriate, compassionate way) by your own father it may be difficult for you to touch your own children.

It gets even more difficult when, for example, our young daughters become adolescents. So, the best time to lay groundwork for good touch is from our child’s birth all the way through her childhood. We fathers should change diapers and clothes, burp, rock and tickle our babies and young children; there are thousands of opportunities to lovingly touch our children.

As your children grow, these activities can be as simple as starting a pillow fight; grooming the dog or building something together; lying side by side in a hammock to look at the stars; or taking dad-and-daughter dance lessons.

Our kids need our fatherly affection, no matter what their ages. Good touch is physical affection that:
• comforts them
• affirms them as a person
• supports them
• respects and is sensitive to their person and their boundaries
• is given with their permission
• is given freely, with nothing expected in exchange
• helps them feel strong, lovable and able to delight in themselves
• and, it is not sexual.

By Soumitra Chakraborty

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” - Elizabeth Stone. Such is the intense and delicate relationship that a parent bears with the child. A new-born child of today, is the future of tomorrow. Therefore a good up-bringing of the child is absolutely necessary. Parents must put their hearts-out in seeing that a child gets enriched mentally, physically, and also gets proper moral and ethical values of life.

Valuable Tips For Ideal Parenting

1) Physical Presence : Children want and need the parents to be physically present in front of their eyes, right from infancy. In fact, when a child is in his/her mother’s womb, he or she, happens to hear the voices of the parents and starts distinguishing between the world on one side and parents on the other. It is absolutely necessary, from that time onwards, that parents do maintain a warm relationship amongst themselves.

2) Listening to and Understanding your child : Just being physically present doesn’t always serve the purpose. You have to listen to almost everything what your child wants you to understand, and interact with the infant as much as possible. This develops a proper bonding and communication between you and your child.

3) Being Supportive Towards Your Partner : Whether you are living together with your partner or not, should be the secondary issue for an ideal parent. The Parents should work together for the welfare of the child. Differences of opinion are a normal feature of parenthood. The most important thing is how the parents resolve or settle the differences that matter. In any case, exchange of respective ideas between the parents should he done in private and no confrontation whatsoever should take place in front of the child. This is just to preserve a feeling of emotional stability and security in the child.

4) Interact With the Child as much as Possible: One of the best ways of developing a good bonding with your child is to play with him/her. In other words, at times, parents do need to behave like children to maintain a close and proper interaction with them. Parents have to enter the child’s world in order to understand and exchange ideas and this in turn makes the child feel secure as well as it gives a sense of comfort and enjoyment to him/her.

5) Teach By Actions : Parents must keep in mind that children are hard core followers of their actions. They observe and follow each individual action of the parent and imitate them. So, it is very essential for a parent to act, behave and socialize properly, so that the child can pick up the best from them.

6) Love : The Best Tool To discipline The Child - To discipline is to guide and bring the best out of your child. Parents should be caring and loving enough, so that the child is inclined to listen to what they say. Talking in a harsh tone, or in a commanding attitude or forcible implications to certain aspects may have and adverse effect on the child’s all-round development.

Parenthood is never smooth and easy as becoming a parent is. It should always be remembered that if one can survive parenthood, one can survive anything.